jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
