I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
