That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
