I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ladies don't puke and tell
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
