i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
