I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
