UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
