who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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