You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
