Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
