think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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