I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Life is so much better after having sex.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
