i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
