he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
