one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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