Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
