So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
