i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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