Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
