guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
