So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
