She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize