areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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