I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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