think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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