Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
