I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
