ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
