let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
