When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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