im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
