Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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