If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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