Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize