SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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