I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
