The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
