9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
