I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize