I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
