and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
