I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
