It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
