I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
