you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
