wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You need Xanax blowdarts
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
