hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
