Three words: puerto rican gang bang
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
