somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
