Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
