Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
