I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
