Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
