I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
