I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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