I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
